“I love showers and mornings and bologna and turtles and wine!”
“Parenting twins is a bit like balancing a lit stick of dynamite in one hand and a Big Gulp cup of gasoline in the other (while simultaneously trying to make dinner, pay bills, clean the house, take care of your other children, and maintain a marriage).”
“I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just…I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”
“Your sons flew an enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night.”
“May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off.”
“You are blind to reality and for that I am most proud.”
“Why are Americans so obsessed with being friends with their children? I have no children friends.”